It's been a while!!!

Well, the excavator is ready for the foundation which is coming on Tuesday.  Things are on track, thank God!!!  It has been so long since I wrote on the blog, not that I haven't been reading everyone's, they help me so much, EVERYDAY!!  I think I haven't written because I didn't want to put my fears out in the universe, you know if I don't dwell on my fears they have no real power.  I have been trying to stay positive about everything, and you know what it helps.  Funny thing is I stopped going to those meetings that were making me crazy.  I actually like one of the meetings, so I go to that on Sunday nights and now when I have free time I try new ones further from my house and to be honest it makes me happier.  The new meeting I went to this Monday meets everyday and has a day meeting and an evening meeting, so when I have a set schedule at work it will be better to at least make 4 a week.  I am still reading my Big Book, saying my affirmations and praying.  It DOES help!!  My work will most likely start full time on the 1st, UGH, and I need to try to be mostly moved in by then.  Isn't it funny, I have been sitting on my hands for the last few months with nothing really I could do, then it will all hit the fan at once, that's life!!!

My ex has been writing me some emails here and there.  He is still living as a victim, and a complainer, but I can see he is trying to be more up beat, but he is still so depressed.  He is sad, but I a not going to get to connected to the situation.  He pushed me away and threw me aside as if I meant nothing and that can be forgiven, but never forgotten.  He still needs so much help and I don't know if he will learn all he was meant to learn in this life.  He still plays such a victim, always able to put the blame on others all the time.  I pray for him so much, sometimes I even pray he gets well enough that we can have a long distance relationship, I know CRAZY ALCOHOLIC THINKING!!!  I just have to continue to move in a positive direction and keep myself on track. This next year I am sure will be filled with ups and downs, but I have to remember to be honest with myself about relationships and people.  I need to learn from the past, not be such a people pleaser and think about what is good for me too, and not fix everyone!!!

Hope you all have a great weekend, what a beautiful day today is!!!