Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
It's just so sad to see, but I'm glad I am here for her.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
We have to tell my mom tomorrow that she has no more options, hospice is the next step. I'm just not sure she will understand. At this point she has so many things going wrong, I just hope she finds peace. This is so hard, I think I'm in shock. I just have to pray and ask for strength.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I couldn't go to the hospital today because I had the stomach bug, but I have to give props to my hubby, he went for me. He has been there since 8:30. I have to say, today he is a ROCKSTAR!!
Sometimes they do "get it"!!
Thanks for the well wishes!! Mom needs them!!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
I ran in the meeting 15 minutes late, but it's until 10, so that's alright. I did miss the speaker, but people were talking about some great topics. A lot of Fear based things. It was nice to hear people so open. It's a young peoples meeting, sometimes they drive me crazy, the kids get into arguments with each other, lots of ego, but last night it was nice to hear everyone. When I ran into the meeting late I just popped in a seat and didn't even look around, I was embarrassed. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was a women from my other meetings, I love her. She didn't look good, see looked sad, and jumpy. The break came and I spun around, 1st thing out of her mouth was, are you o.k? I said sure, what's up with you? This women had lost her son to suicide last March & she has been having a really hard time. She is still sober, but her 2 other children smoke pot and she can smell it on them and it makes her crazy because they get relief and she doesn't. She has been getting things from the police and she just go some more stuff this week, some journals of his. My heart breaks for her. We talked a bit, we hugged, then she went for a smoke. Another Regular who has 27 years, I love him, he reminds me of my dad, came over to me, asked how I was, I said fine, then he said how is Jane? Not so good. I told him I felt bad because I can't help her I can only listen, I have no point of referrance for what she is going through and I couldn't even speaculate how it must feel. He made me feel so good. He said the best gift I gave to her was to listen to her and not judge or give advise, just be an ear so she doesn't go to booze!!!
When the meeting was over Jane and I held hands and said the Our Father, hugged and as she left she said, thanks for listening, it helped me, I really wanted to drink tonight!!
Isn't it funny that the 2 "old timers" asked me how I was first??? Even when Jane was hurting, she thought of me, people are so wonderful and kind in this program!!
I was meant to go to that meeting, even if I was late. I was meant to sit right in front of her, a room of about 100 and I was PLACED in that seat. I was of service to someone last night and I was thankful that God helped me to keep my mouth shut & my ears open!!!!
Every time I see Jane, I always remember WE DON"T DRINK NO MATTER WHAT!!!!! She is an inspiration!!!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
How to prepare for a snowstorm when your an ACTIVE alcoholic!!
- You need to make sure you have lots of alcohol. Instead of running to the grocery store like all the other wackos, the alcoholic runs like hell to the liquor store!!
- You need to hide your stash so it will not be found. Storms make you wear and do unusual things, so regular hiding places for your booze will not work, you need to think smart and change up your hiding place, you don't want someone looking for gloves or scarves and find you alcohol!
- Make sure you can think of something good to fight about so your husband will leave you alone when you are trying to really get tanked. When you are both stuck in on a snow day, you will become overwhelmed and need your own space.
- Make sure you drink enough so that when you pass you don't wake up until at least 5 in the morning. This way you can get up and clean the mess you made and not have to deal with anyone!!
- If you have any alcohol left in the morning, drink up it will help with your hangover!!
- The most important thing, remember where you put you alcohol!!!! A drunk without booze on a snow day is not so happy!!!!Now please know I am joking, although, that is pretty much what I did every time it was going to snow, and pretty much every night when I would drink. What a waste!!
- I pray and I am thankful to be waking up to another day. I ask my HP to help me stay away from alcohol today.
- I figure out what I need to do today to stay away form a drink.
- I know today is a snow day & we have no alcohol in the house. That makes me feel safe.
- I have asked a clients husband to plow out our driveway when he has time, this will help my husband to not lose his mind trying to snow blow it. He can just work on the front walkway and the path we have to make for the dogs in the back. This little thing will help me not to get upset because he can't complain and he could always SHOVEL!! Or let me help, so if he gets upset, it's his PROBLEM NOT MINE!!
- I know I have to put in time for my "remedial" math class that I am taking online, so that will take up a few hours.
- I can clean the hall closet and do laundry if I have extra time
- I could read a book
- I could take a nap
- I could call my sponsor.
I went to a meeting last night and said I am nervous about my snow day!!! Getting it out makes it so much better!!!
Have a great day, Boston is getting dumped on so I may be posting a lot today, but you know what, it keeps me away from a drink!!